Sunday, August 17, 2008

Grab Your Rain Boots and Come On Over!


AKA: Potty Training Day One...

OK. So this kind of stuff is usually on the kids blog at http://www.lifeasanegglet.blogspot.com/ BUT I wanted to chronicle the MOM'S PERSPECTIVE on this whole potty training thing.

I woke up this morning with a sense of dread. I was not too excited as one of my good friends described the first day of potty training as "Pee Pee Hell". I got out of bed - started the am routine with the twins and put the most adorable underpants on Noah.


Oh my gosh - how could something who looks so cute in these Tow Mater pants be hard to train?


I'm armed with a treat basket filled with new hot wheels (for poopies on the potty), stickers for the sticker chart and LOTS OF CANDY for the treats... He has great taste in treats...dove milk chocolates, mini kit kat bars, mini animal crackers, mini nilla wafers, and mini oreos!

Well, here's how the day has gone so far...

8:15am - sat on pot - no luck... with this guard thing - how am I going to know if he goes?

8:30am - sat on pot - no luck

8:45am - small wet spot on under ware - sat on pot - jumped up and down, gave stickers and mini m&m's for an amount of pee that could hardly been seen with the naked eye...

9am - OH MY GOSH - how could this much pee come out of a body this small... I mean really - I don't think I pee this much... the BAD news is that it was in his pants and on my floor (thank God for wood floors) and NOT in the potty...

9:15am - wait, oh my, wait - YOU DID IT! That is a measurable amount of pee in the toilet!! Definitely know when he pees...the guard did not work... anyone got rain boots I can borrow?

9:17am - change my clothes (got peed on - hasn't happened since Moo Moo was about 6 weeks old!)

9:30am - OH NO! Is that POOP? Are you kidding me? I think I am going to puke... the poop was NOT in the potty... another change.

9:45am - You have got to be kidding... I quit. There is PEE in the pants AGAIN.

10am - we wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait... WAIT... I hear the trickle of pee!!! Whoo Hoo - M&M's for EVERYONE! Laundry load #1



10:30am - Went longer before trying this time since we were on so long last time... success...

11:00am - Another successful trip BUT they are longer stays... books, trucks, silly songs... SCREAMING TWINS... oh wait a minute - I need to pay attention to them too!

11:30am - a little accident - but success!

12:00pm - Success before lunch!

12:30pm - Success again before nap... my kid is AMAZING... but here is the true test - NAP TIME.

3:45pm - Noah woke up. At the first little movement I fled up the stairs and rushed him into the bathroom. He was still groggy and I am sure wondering what drugs his mom took while he was sleeping - I am never that fast to get him...
the bed...
the bed...
wait, it's dry - wow those vinyl pants must be AMAZING and created by a MOM. Wait, they are dry too! MY SON MADE IT THROUGH THE NAP DRY? M&M's for EVERYONE! A HUGE success on the potty this time.

4:15pm - Poop in the pants... crap. Literally. But success finishing the poopy and a pee pee too on the potty. Not sure what is worse - changing a poopy diaper and tossing it or scraping poop off cute underpants, dumping in toilet and then scrubbing the bio hazard off cloth... how does it get so embedded in every fiber so quick?

4:40pm - Success again! Stickers, M&M's and a dance that I will NEVER do in public!

5:00pm - Success again! I think I have this down!

5:20pm - Success again - the floor keeps getting over spray - not sure how to correct this - not sure I can! Ha... Mop up the floor with Clorox for the 15th time!

5:40pm - Success again.

6:00pm - Making baby's food... what is Noah doing? It looks like he is painting...
OH MY GOSH... large puddle on the floor! Sorry Matt & Addie - you are just going to have to wait for food... And those vinyl pants don't work any better than the cute one... maybe NOT made by a mom...

6:32pm - Actually feeding the babies and need to change them now too... I think I am in pee peeville...Lord, I promise to really, really watch my mouth and attitude - just give me a little relief from all this pee... Ha.

7:00pm - At dinner Noah got a funny look on his face and grabbed his shorts...rushed in and guess what? Peed AGAIN!


7:25pm - Last chance... here's to a dry night (yah, right! I am ambitious but that is just plain unrealistic and too lofty for day one!)

7:30pm - Noah off to bed.. All and All, I consider today to be a HUGE success! Laundry Load #2 started...



So, day one has not been that bad. BUT, I think this whole potty training thing is OVERRATED... I mean come on - when he moves into his dorm room at college with diapers - he'll get it that it is weird and train himself, RIGHT?

What have I learned today?
1. Potty Training is more for the mom than the kid. If I don't remember or jump at the timer - problem.

2. We have trained him to pee whenever he feels like it for 27 months... I can NOT expect him to get it in one day.

3. This is the one time that having twins only 15 months younger SUCKS! I think it would have been hard enough with another baby but the two of them are ganging up on me today...oh the guilt and shame - oh well, I'll just put more money in the "therapy fund" ...

4. Attitude is everything on my part and when that fails...M&M's are helping to make an adjustment.

5. I am not the easiest to live with when I can't control something... Sorry husband (mom STOP laughing!)
6. I need to run to Target tonight to get the things I didn't know I needed. 1000 stickers, more Clorox wipes, Kandoo wipes(flushable - do you KNOW how hard it is to wipe a toddler's poopy butt?), about 100 pairs of training pants (not the cute under ware) and a HUGE bottle of Jack Daniels....oh wait, Target doesn't sell that - will have to settle for Twinkies....

Pee you tomorrow....
(sorry couldn't help myself!)

post signature

6 comments:

Jessa said...

I feel so sorry for you!!! I HATED that process, as do most moms I'm sure. If it makes you feel any better, Faith used to play with her poop in the crib. One day it even happened twice. Yes, my little pretty princess painted her walls, toys, crib and SELF with her own poop. Monkeys don't even do that. ;-) And I cried... boy did I cry. But we got passed it, as we got passed potty training, and so will you! I'm just probably a bit more nutzo than I used to be, but no biggie!

Cindy said...

Bless your heart.. this did remind me of those days. You are sooo right to think it is like training the Mom. Hang in there and be sure not to put much Mom pressure on yourself. We had many a start and stops trying to "train the kids" and in the end they do learn to go on the potty--- and amazingly later on in life without telling you!

You are doing great and keeping the sense of humor will always help with the sanity... if not, I can bring the cocktails!

ocm said...

Hope it is going better for you? Have you thought of nakie time...

What a trial...hopefully the twins will follow their big brother's example and decide they want to use the 'big potty' all by themselves!

: )

Jessa said...

Wow, could I have a spell check please??? LOL! PAST, not passed. Duh. That's all, I had to corret myself real quick! :-)

Anonymous said...

Thank for the laugh out loud!! Jillian took three different times before she decided that SHE was ready (over a span of 6 months!) as I had been ready for many months prior! I loved your recap and am not looking forward to doing it for a second time in a few months with Isaac. The dorm thing sounds much easier! ~Katie Miller

Heather A. said...

My 1st daughter was a pretty good, predictable potty trainer. I'm now dealing with my 2nd daughter, while pregnant, and she's a monster! I am learning the trick with her is to keep her hiney naked. She will tell me she's about to pee when naked but if she has ANYTHING on, panties, pull up, etc. she will just pee...
So naked hiney is working for us, but we're only finishing day 2, LOL. I have a boy on the way, I think I'll just keep him outside naked and let nature take course. haha!!! Good luck to all potty training parents!!! =]