Sunday, January 27, 2008

Is My Heart Big Enough?

When I was pregnant with the twins, so many of my friends who already had one baby would ask me - "Do you ever wonder if you will have enough love for the both of them?" At first, I thought it sounded silly - of course I would have enough love for them. But as Noah continued to get older and more adorable in personality (and looks I might add), I started to wonder. How would I ever have enough love for not 2 but 3 kids? How would I not favor Noah over these two that were coming?

As my pregnancy drew to a close I also started to wonder if I would favor one twin over the other. What if I favored Addie simply because she is the only girl? Or what if I favored Matty just because I was already used to having a boy?
Looking back now, I laugh. Not only do I have enough love for all of them, I love them for completely different reasons. Noah is my precious, precocious little man who's eyes are always open to what the world has to show him. He is observant and quick to explore something new. Yet he has this sweet side to him that longs for the affection and approval of his mom. Like when he does something he knows he is not allowed to do, he points it out and says sorry. It's as if the temptation is too much to resist but the consequence of having a mad mommy even worse.

And then there is Addie Mae. She has as much spunk as her name! She is smiley and content most of the time but when she decides that she is ready for something or needs a change of scenery - you know it. I love that Addie never sleeps when the boys sleep. She is my Bible Study partner, my movie watcher and my company when the house would otherwise be too quiet for ears that are now used to and comforted by the noise. I love her feisty spirit and can't wait to see what that becomes in the years to come.

And Matty. Moo Moo as we all affectionately call him. Matty is my chunk of love. He is cuddly and lovey and is just content to be held. Matty is the one in the swing - all by himself - yet carrying on a full cooing conversation with whomever he thinks is listening. I love that he lays on the floor and "talks" to his stuffies and even has been known to laugh at whatever they have said back. I love that he absolutely falls apart whenever Addie is taken from the room. I love that he is the first to find Addie's hand when they are on the floor together and that he watches Noah zoom around. I love his sweet spirit and his smile that melts your heart.

Do I have enough love for all of them?
I have more than I ever thought I could!

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