Sunday, June 29, 2008

Ally... this one's for You!

OK - so something occurred to me today while talking with my friend Ally. Labels can build you up or tear you down not really by what they are but by who they are from. Why does this strike me? Well, it occurred to me that this could impact the way I deal with things on two levels... On one level, it could help me be a little more open to things my husband says or how I speak to him and it really should open my eyes as to how I speak to my kids...
What in the world am I talking about... well, lets say that your husband calls you determined, forthright and straightforward. Those are all character traits that are actually all very positive (for the most part). But these are not the things that we want to hear from our husbands. We want to hear "compassionate, sexy, beautiful, caring, patient..." If our boss called us "determined, forthright and straightforward" we would be flattered. So the words we choose should be honest but we need to be careful to make sure that they are really representing what it is that we are trying to convey. And, while it IS about what is on the inside that counts - there is nothing wrong with complimenting someone on their smile, appearance, etc.
And that is when it occurred to me. How would I describe my husband to him and how could that make him feel? When speaking to my kids - if I bring out a trait when they are getting punished how will that effect their self worth? They say women use a TON more words a day than men do. I want to make sure that my words count, edify, and build up my family!

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