A Walk In the Park

The theme for day two of our potty training could be labeled:

A WALK IN THE PARK.

Now, before you get all mad and jealous - read the ENTIRE blog... a walk in the park has more than one meaning... and I am sure that you jumped to the conclusion that it was a piece of cake today...

Well, it was not bad. But today overall reminded me of a walk in the park.

Every park has a fire hydrant. They are good right? Meant to put out fires and cool down children on hot days... but when they break - WATER EVERYWHERE right? Well, no accidents today AT ALL. Not even a drip of pee in the under ware. I consider that GREAT success BUT I would really like to get the over spray under control. Seems that my Noah thinks it is fascinating that he is controlling this peeing thing and his awe causes him to miss the pot AND the guard. (And yes, he is sitting.) I need to get this little fire hydrant under control!

Some great parks have fun games and rides. (OK thinking of the great parks lining the beaches in California...I am sure there are some on the east coast too but I have never been there.) Every great park has some sort of game where you throw something, shoot something or aim something at a target...

Are you getting where I am going?

Today I was thinking that toilet painting might be my next big career...

What little boy wouldn't love taking aim at something like the above picture painted on the inside of a toilet... OK ... I really could be on to something here... (Jessa maybe you should join in on this one - you would be the talent behind the venture).

I can see it now.

Wade and I are at some high society black tie dinner (since we are invited and go to these kinds of things all the time). Bill Gates walks up to make conversation (and yes, his hair is as bad in my "daydream" as it is on TV) and asks what we do. He has a stimulating conversation with Wade about Bonds Alarm Company and then turns to me.

Me: "I am the CEO of Aim Straight".

Gates: "I am intrigued... is this a non-profit organization targeting the welfare of our youth? The next generation who will save the world? What a noble cause."

Me: "Not exactly. It is an artistic endeavor in which we work with parents. We creatively help them with their parenting."

Gates: "Tell me more. I have kids and parenting is tough. Any useful source of help on the subject is a gold mine. I could see myself funding this."

Me: (Excited - who wouldn't want to be backed by Bill Gates?) We paint custom targets and bulleyes in the bowl of toilets. It has turned out to be an amazing tool in the aiding of toilet training. Success rates with over spray and toilet training have skyrocketed since we started this company. Clorox is not very impressed, the sales of bleach has dramatically dropped but they are working with me on a new product that cleans, protects and enhances the design. OSHA caught wind of it and is thinking about making it mandatory in all homes with kids under the age of three... it dramatically cuts down on the spillage of body fluids."

Gates: (Dumbfounded look on his face and the hair doesn't help) "Great. Um. Sorry, but I see the owner/CEO of Google... "

OK. So maybe not the best idea in the world but if anyone steals it I have proof that is date and time stamped right here showing it was my idea!

Anyways... day two a complete SUCCESS in my book! No poopy today - think we are on strike... no complaints from me - I didn't feel like scraping it off cute under ware anyways! I do feel like I spent yet another day in the "outhouse"! (If you missed day one and care - check it out below)

***update*** well, the poopy strike is over and it didn't end pretty... so day three we will work on getting the over spray AND the poop in the bowl!

Grab Your Rain Boots and Come On Over!

AKA: Potty Training Day One...

OK. So this kind of stuff is usually on the kids blog at http://www.lifeasanegglet.blogspot.com/ BUT I wanted to chronicle the MOM'S PERSPECTIVE on this whole potty training thing.

I woke up this morning with a sense of dread. I was not too excited as one of my good friends described the first day of potty training as "Pee Pee Hell". I got out of bed - started the am routine with the twins and put the most adorable underpants on Noah.


Oh my gosh - how could something who looks so cute in these Tow Mater pants be hard to train?


I'm armed with a treat basket filled with new hot wheels (for poopies on the potty), stickers for the sticker chart and LOTS OF CANDY for the treats... He has great taste in treats...dove milk chocolates, mini kit kat bars, mini animal crackers, mini nilla wafers, and mini oreos!

Well, here's how the day has gone so far...

8:15am - sat on pot - no luck... with this guard thing - how am I going to know if he goes?

8:30am - sat on pot - no luck

8:45am - small wet spot on under ware - sat on pot - jumped up and down, gave stickers and mini m&m's for an amount of pee that could hardly been seen with the naked eye...

9am - OH MY GOSH - how could this much pee come out of a body this small... I mean really - I don't think I pee this much... the BAD news is that it was in his pants and on my floor (thank God for wood floors) and NOT in the potty...

9:15am - wait, oh my, wait - YOU DID IT! That is a measurable amount of pee in the toilet!! Definitely know when he pees...the guard did not work... anyone got rain boots I can borrow?

9:17am - change my clothes (got peed on - hasn't happened since Moo Moo was about 6 weeks old!)

9:30am - OH NO! Is that POOP? Are you kidding me? I think I am going to puke... the poop was NOT in the potty... another change.

9:45am - You have got to be kidding... I quit. There is PEE in the pants AGAIN.

10am - we wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait... WAIT... I hear the trickle of pee!!! Whoo Hoo - M&M's for EVERYONE! Laundry load #1



10:30am - Went longer before trying this time since we were on so long last time... success...

11:00am - Another successful trip BUT they are longer stays... books, trucks, silly songs... SCREAMING TWINS... oh wait a minute - I need to pay attention to them too!

11:30am - a little accident - but success!

12:00pm - Success before lunch!

12:30pm - Success again before nap... my kid is AMAZING... but here is the true test - NAP TIME.

3:45pm - Noah woke up. At the first little movement I fled up the stairs and rushed him into the bathroom. He was still groggy and I am sure wondering what drugs his mom took while he was sleeping - I am never that fast to get him...
the bed...
the bed...
wait, it's dry - wow those vinyl pants must be AMAZING and created by a MOM. Wait, they are dry too! MY SON MADE IT THROUGH THE NAP DRY? M&M's for EVERYONE! A HUGE success on the potty this time.

4:15pm - Poop in the pants... crap. Literally. But success finishing the poopy and a pee pee too on the potty. Not sure what is worse - changing a poopy diaper and tossing it or scraping poop off cute underpants, dumping in toilet and then scrubbing the bio hazard off cloth... how does it get so embedded in every fiber so quick?

4:40pm - Success again! Stickers, M&M's and a dance that I will NEVER do in public!

5:00pm - Success again! I think I have this down!

5:20pm - Success again - the floor keeps getting over spray - not sure how to correct this - not sure I can! Ha... Mop up the floor with Clorox for the 15th time!

5:40pm - Success again.

6:00pm - Making baby's food... what is Noah doing? It looks like he is painting...
OH MY GOSH... large puddle on the floor! Sorry Matt & Addie - you are just going to have to wait for food... And those vinyl pants don't work any better than the cute one... maybe NOT made by a mom...

6:32pm - Actually feeding the babies and need to change them now too... I think I am in pee peeville...Lord, I promise to really, really watch my mouth and attitude - just give me a little relief from all this pee... Ha.

7:00pm - At dinner Noah got a funny look on his face and grabbed his shorts...rushed in and guess what? Peed AGAIN!


7:25pm - Last chance... here's to a dry night (yah, right! I am ambitious but that is just plain unrealistic and too lofty for day one!)

7:30pm - Noah off to bed.. All and All, I consider today to be a HUGE success! Laundry Load #2 started...

So, day one has not been that bad. BUT, I think this whole potty training thing is OVERRATED... I mean come on - when he moves into his dorm room at college with diapers - he'll get it that it is weird and train himself, RIGHT?

What have I learned today?

1. Potty Training is more for the mom than the kid. If I don't remember or jump at the timer - problem.

2. We have trained him to pee whenever he feels like it for 27 months... I can NOT expect him to get it in one day.

3. This is the one time that having twins only 15 months younger SUCKS! I think it would have been hard enough with another baby but the two of them are ganging up on me today...oh the guilt and shame - oh well, I'll just put more money in the "therapy fund" ...

4. Attitude is everything on my part and when that fails...M&M's are helping to make an adjustment.

5. I am not the easiest to live with when I can't control something... Sorry husband (mom STOP laughing!)

6. I need to run to Target tonight to get the things I didn't know I needed. 1000 stickers, more Clorox wipes, Kandoo wipes(flushable - do you KNOW how hard it is to wipe a toddler's poopy butt?), about 100 pairs of training pants (not the cute under ware) and a HUGE bottle of Jack Daniels....oh wait, Target doesn't sell that - will have to settle for Twinkies....

Pee you tomorrow....

(sorry couldn't help myself!)